


Ladders

by Freyarule



Series: Honey Bea [1]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 10:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16282814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freyarule/pseuds/Freyarule
Summary: Sometimes everything you built up can be taken away from you in an instant.





	Ladders

It didn't really hit him to begin with. 

It was just a normal evening, that merged into a normal night. Maddie and Seth wanted to go out on a date night, to remember what their relationship had been like. Before Jas was born; before their nights were disturbed; before their living room didn't constantly look like a hurricane had ripped through it. So, naturally, they'd called him to come and babysit.

He had nothing better to do, of course. Estelle was busy, out at her group meetings or meeting her friends or whatever. His evening was just going to consist of sitting in front of the TV watching the gridball highlights whilst looking over some paperwork for the board meeting the next day. For him, a change of scenery was welcomed. So, after parking his old faithful (the sedan that he'd had since college) in the driveway, and letting himself in the house, Shane didn't even mind with a scene of pure chaos.

Maddie struggled to keep hold of Jas, who was well into her terrible twos by now. 

"Jas, sweetie, we're not going to be gone all night, we'll be back by the time you wake up tomorrow morning-"

"No! I want Mommy! Mommy has to stay and read me bedtime story!" Jas wailed, bashing her fists at Maddie's arms, one arm in a cardigan, the other arm bare. Maddie's head was still wrapped in a towel, a damp tendril of dark purple hair poking out over her forehead.

"Jas, c'mon...look! Uncle Shane is here to look after you tonight!" Maddie pointed at Shane standing at the doorway, a look on his face as if wondering if he should about turn and walk back out. 

"Uncle Shaaaaane!" Jas squealed. Her arms reached out for him as she all but jumped out of Maddie's grip.

"Sweet Yoba, has anyone seen my blue tie?" a voice called out from the stairs as Seth hobbled down, socks slipping slightly. "Oh, hey, bud." He gave a greeting nod to Shane before carrying on his mission. "Mads, I can't find that blue tie I got from your dad for Wintertide-"

"Have a look at the laundry basket by the washing machine, I'm pretty sure you just threw it there with your shirt again - Jas, baby, can you please stop grabbing!" Maddie sighed as Jas still tried to escape her mother's restraint, giving indignant shrieks.

"Alright, miss, let's let your Mom get ready." Shane finally stepped in to pluck the squirming child and set her back onto the ground so she could run wild. 

"It's been a bit of a nightmare, as you can see." Maddie half-laughed, shaking her head. She grabbed the other arm of the cardigan and threaded her arm through. "Maybe we should just call it quits."

"Aw, Mads, cmon." Shane scritched at his cheek. "It's not the first time you've left Jas-"

"Yeah but...I don't know." She crossed her arms as if hugging herself. "It really doesn't feel like a good night to be going out. The laundry needs doing, Jas is being needy, Seth has been getting stress from work-"

"Which is exactly why you need a night out, just the two of you, to enjoy yourself," Shane said, raising an arm to touch her shoulder in reassurance. "It'll be fine. I'll make sure Jas is tucked in bed and I'll read her a story or two. She'll be ok."

Maddie took a few seconds, as if trying to find a reason to argue, but she ultimately relaxed her shoulders and shook her head free of the towel, her long hair tumbling down like a damp curtain.

"You're right. It'll be fun. Thanks, Shane." She smiled warmly at her best friend, before combing a hand through her hair. "For now, though, I need to run a hairdryer through this birds nest and finish my makeup." She started to hop up the stairs with a renewed excitement for the evening.

"Shaaane!" Jas grabbed onto Shane's trouser leg, snapping him out of his momentary daze as he had watched up the stairs. "Come play Courtwick with me!" 

"Don't you think it's getting past your bedtime, little miss?" Seth came back from the kitchen, the blue tie being tied around his neck as he spoke. Jas responded to this with a resounding denial as she rolled about the floor.

"Oh, so it was in the laundry basket." Shane smirked.

"Yeah, well, when things at the office are so hectic, I can't remember where everything is," Seth's lips twitched in a smile as he made his way to the stairs, before sharply turning back.

"OH! Yeah, I forgot to ask you something." 

"What's up?"

"Our car's currently in the garage, something about the engine being a bit iffy. Is it ok if I take your car tonight?"

This question didn't immediately register with Shane, who was trying to stop Jas from hitting his leg with a stuffed horse toy. "Huh?" He looked up. "Oh, er, yeah, sure man. I don't mind. Just bring it back in one piece."

"Hah!" Seth laughed, slapping a hand on Shane's back. "Seriously, though, thanks bud. I was gonna...well." He looked at Jas before whispering, "I was gonna ask Maddie if she wanted to try for another."

"Oh, wow." Shane smiled, knowing how Maddie would probably twitch her eye at the thought of raising another baby like Jas so soon. "That's great. I hope it goes well. Just...don't do it in my car, ok?"

Seth snickered before going back upstairs, leaving Shane to try and encourage Jas that yes, now it was definitely bedtime.

It was definitely exhausting, and he silently thanked Estelle for not being too broody - he didn't think he could handle becoming a father at this point in his life, despite being the same age as his best friends. They just had it together better than he did, and although he loved them to pieces, there was still the doubt and jealousy lurking in the back of his mind that he would never be good enough. These thoughts were rare, however, and reassurances from both friends mostly forced them away.

After a bedtime story, Jas had finally settled down in her bed, and was sound asleep. Shane made sure to leave the nightlight on before tip toeing out of the room and leaving the door open a little. 

Maddie and Seth were finishing up in getting ready downstairs, and both smiled at Shane as he came down. 

"All settled in?" Seth asked.

"Yeah, she's asleep. You guys can go." Shane stifled a yawn.

"See, I told you she adores you." Seth finished adjusting his cufflinks before opening the front door. "Alright, we'll be back by midnight. Give us a call if you need us."

"Yeah, yeah," Shane waved his hand, "I'll be fine. Go have fun." He lightly pushed Maddie towards the door.

"See you later, bud," Seth said. 

"Have a good evening." Maddie grinned before closing the front door behind her  
.  
Shane gave a deep sigh before padding back into the living room, flopping down onto the sofa. Time to get to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He must had dozed off, he realised as he groggily came back into consciousness. His paperwork was strewn across the sofa and his lap, the TV still on the gridball channel, humming softly. The piercing cry of his name in the background-

Wait.

Shane jolted upwards as he heard Jas call out. Like a rabbit running from a hungry wolf, he bolted up the stairs to her room.

"I'm here. I'm here!" he pushed the door open, so it hit the wall and bashed back into his shoulder. Jas was sitting up in bed, her face a pasty white.

"What's wrong?" Shane asked, kneeling beside her bed, his eyes darting around the bed in an effort to see what had got her so scared, like a spider on the wall. Jas looked down at her lap.

"Bad dream," she murmured, as Shane reached out to hold her hand. She was quivering; whatever she had dreamt about must have been terrifying.

"Oh, honey," he soothed, rubbing her back. "It was just a bad dream, it can't hurt you."

"I want Mommy!" Jas clung to his sleeve. Shane sighed before checking the clock on her wall. It was quarter to midnight, so he knew Seth and Maddie would be due back soon.

"Alright, they'll be back home to see you soon, ok?" he said, starting to stand up.

"No!" Jas pouted, clinging harder. Shane could see this was a losing battle, and he decided taking Jas downstairs to wait for her parents was probably the best thing to do.

He carried her down to find his phone ringing, and seeing it was an unknown number, answered it after settling Jas down on the sofa.

"Hello?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The words pierced into him like a knife.

_"This is Chief Gordon of the Zuzu City Police. I'm calling to inform you that your car was involved in a car accident in the City Centre. I'm sorry to tell you that the male driver was killed instantly...his partner has been rushed to hospital with serious injuries."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He wasn't sure how he had subconsciously dragged himself off the phone, forced a coat and shoes on Jas, and run out the house to hail a cab. All he could think about was Seth and Maddie. Seth and Maddie. Seth was gone. Maddie was...fighting for her life. As they were driven to the hospital, Jas whimpering into his arm, the thoughts ran through his head over and over like a broken record. The screams in his head continued whilst he sat in the small waiting room. Jas had curled up in the seat next to him, too exhausted to keep up with any protests. Every noise set him on edge, the trundle of the wheels going past, the phones in the background ringing, the beeps of machines in the various rooms. His eyes bore a hole in the wall opposite him, before a voice pulled him back.

"Are you the owner of that crashed car?" 

He jerked with shock before glancing up to see a police officer. "I am," he responded, his voice dry and raspy.

"I just need to give you the details for when you get in touch with the insurance company." the police officer brought out a notebook from his pocket. "You'll get all this in official paperwork in due time."

Shane blindly nodded, but the last thing on his mind was insurance, when his best friend was being operated on at that very moment. 

"So the car had been going through the city centre, I believe nearing a popular night club. We don't believe the couple were over the limit at all. However, a girl ran out into the road in front of the car, causing them to attempt to brake. The brake seemed to fail however and they had to swerve, crashing into a passing vehicle. Eyewitnesses reported that the girl was possibly drunk, and dashed out on a dare, and she is currently in the hospital as well but is due to make a full recovery. The passing vehicle driver is also being treated, but only suffered minor injuries"

Shane stared at the police officer, his teeth starting to grit. Of fucking course. Everyone in this incident seemed to go away with only a couple of bruises, yet his friends bore the worst of it. The police officer kept speaking, but he was no longer listening to anything. The pounding roar in his ears overpowered any other noise as he went over the report in his head.

_**The brake seemed to fail.** _

He had forgotten to mention the dodgy brake pedal. 

The pedal that you had to step on slowly to work, or it wouldn't register straight away. That he'd been telling himself to fix for months, but had just never got round to it, or couldn't afford it. And that he hadn't mentioned to Seth. 

He could feel bile rising up his throat, his stomach contorting with dread. How could he have done this? Why did he persuade them to go out tonight? Maddie had a bad feeling, why the fuck didn't he listen to her? He should have got them to get a cab, he should have made them stay at home, he should have...  
He ran a shaking hand through his hair, rubbing the cold sweat from his forehead, trying to calm down, trying to breathe, but his throat was closing up, and he could barely register the doctor walking towards him with a solemn look, the words spilling from his lips, his nightmares awakening - 

_"I'm sorry. We tried everything we could. But we couldn't revive her."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

And yet, it didn't really hit him to begin with. It was as if he had shut down and gone into auto pilot. In the back of his mind he was conscious of Seth's parents coming to pick up Jas, to give him hugs of support, and to grieve together. Somehow he got a cab home, collapsed into bed, and slept until mid afternoon from the strain. Had he let work know? Would work have cared? There was that board meeting. His boss was gonna be mad. None of that mattered now. Estelle came over. She cooked some food, as he hadn't eaten since the day before. All this and the days until the funeral were a numbing blur. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"I wish we could have taken Jas in. There's just no way we could, what with Ivan getting worse with his illness. It wouldn't be fair on her. You know how it is."  
Seth's mother, Rose, unlocked the front door to the old house, and Shane stepped inside. His black shirt was crinkled, from the lack of ironing, and the amount of times he had grasped at it during the service. 

"Are you sure your Aunt can look after her alright?" Rose sighed as she kicked at the shoes lying by the front door. "She lives in the valley, doesn't she?" 

"Yeah," Shane responded. "She lives near Pelican Town, down by the coast. My aunt used to look after me when I was younger during the summer, so she's used to children. I just..." he walked into the silent living room, idly scratching at his arm. "I want her to have a better life away from the city." 

"Are you sure you couldn't have taken her in, Shane? You are her godfather, after all. I'm sure Seth and Maddie would have been happier for you to take care of her, and she does love you..." 

"I can't, Rose." Shane shook his head. "I can barely look after myself these days, let alone a small child. I can't bring her up in that kind of environment..." 

He looked around the room, memories slapping at him. Photos on the wall, of the two doting parents and their child. Baby photos of Jas, her first step, her first tooth. Wedding photos. That old college graduation photo of them with him. A small photo on the bookcase of him and Seth in high school, after a gridball match.  
His fingernails dug into his arm as he sat down on the sofa. Hardly anything had been touched since he ran out that night. They were picking up pieces for Jas, and seeing what else could be taken, before the furniture got sold and the house was put back on the market. He was trying to process how soon everything would be gone. All the memories from the house would fade into nothing. 

"I'm just going to pop up to Jas' room," Rose softly uttered, and she patted Shane's shoulder before moving upstairs, her footsteps almost echoing slightly in the silent room. Shane sat back, closing his eyes, before reaching down onto the sofa to readjust himself. His hand brushed against a different fabric, and his eyes snapped open to see the culprit. It was a towel, pale yellow, and he recognised it as the towel she had used for her hair that night. His hand gripped into it, dragging it to his lap, lifting it slightly, and he could still smell the vague hints of perfume and shampoo she always used. Scents he took for granted. A friendship he never thought would end like this. 

That's when it hit him. Hit him like the same crash that took their lives. Smacked him against the pavement like that girl who had ran out in front. The despair started in his chest, a growing pain, a roar, travelling upwards, his lungs jerking as his breaths came out sharp, in a vain attempt to stop the screams from escaping his throat, as they choked him. He couldn't stop the tears from falling; he clamped a hand across his mouth as the sobs wracked through his whole body, the darkness slowly spreading across him like a poison. At some point Rose had come down to comfort him, offer a soothing voice, only for her to succumb to her own grief as well. 

He had stumbled back down into that familiar ditch. His ladders, his lifelines, had been taken away. 

Perhaps, in the future, he would be able to forgive himself. Until then, there was only a flickering candle inside, slowly dying. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Ao3, this was a one-shot to warm myself up for my main fic Honey Bea that I'm in the process of planning and writing! Shane is my fave character and after some related events have happened in my life I thought writing things out was a good way to let it out. I hope you enjoyed, please feel free to comment and leave kudos ☆*✲ﾟ*｡(((´♡‿♡`+)))｡*ﾟ✲*☆


End file.
